It’s part of our human nature that we generally tend to feel sorry for what we don’t have. This attitude can spring up in all areas of our lives. Perhaps you make a decent income that supports you and your family, but you wish you made as much as someone else. Or, you find yourself picking apart the flaws of your partner while perhaps overlooking the good qualities because you’ve become used to them.
Where our attention goes, the energy grows. So, when we give our energy to the negative, we are only magnifying that negativity in our lives. With my 60-Second Self Boost technique, we take that tendency to focus on the bad and shift our focus to all that is positive with our lives instead. Every negative situation can be flipped into a positive perspective.
Say your partner annoys you by not doing something he/she promised to do. It might be tempting to say, “You never do this! You always act this way! I’m sick of it.” However, by choosing to focus on their positive traits instead, you are able to calm down, feel more joy, and perhaps even identify a solution to the issue at hand that you were unable to see when you were blinded by negative emotion.
Gratitude: Trendy Buzzword or Genuinely Beneficial Practice?
It’s become popular in our society today to talk about gratitude practices (ex. daily journals and lists). But when you’re constantly told to practice things like “20 things you’re grateful for every day” it can certainly feel annoying and too much work.
From my personal experience, I find that many of us have been raised since childhood to look out for the negative in order to keep ourselves safe from any perceived danger or harm. Perhaps your parents or teachers raised you to believe you are lazy or messy — you will be fine-tuned to pick apart on these so-called flaws in other people because you are constantly on the red alert for these qualities.
This is a unhealthy cycle of negative, judgmental behaviour. Further, this headspace isn’t helpful; if we are judgmental of ourselves and cannot accept ourselves first, we are unable to love and accept other human beings.
Instead, try my 60-Second Self Boost technique to flip any negative thought into a positive one. Think of this tool as an eraser — whenever a negative thought floats into your mind, erase it and replace it with 5 positive thoughts.
Practice With This Example: Your Relationship With Your Mother
Picture your mother. If you’re like most of us, your relationship with your mother is likely complex, and there may be some memories of her that are not the most positive for you. Recognize this negative moment. Breathe deeply as you contemplate it without judgement.
Once you’ve given the negative thought its moment, choose now to be grateful for what you do have. Perhaps you’re grateful for the time you were able to spend with her, the lessons you learned from her, or certain qualities she passed down to you.
Whenever a negative thought or emotion begins to arise again in you, accept it and realign yourself with the positive. Remember to think of 5 positive traits for each negative one: did you enjoy the smell of her hair when you were a child? Her perfume? Did you like watching her get ready in front of the mirror? The little candy she brought you when she came home from the store?
Nurture your mindset by choosing to step into the positive. Where our attention goes, the energy grows — so if you focus on the negative, more of that will seem to come your way. Likewise, when you choose to focus on all the positive (even the smallest details), an abundance of positivity will blossom in your life.
Follow Along With The Guided Meditation Video
For a guided meditation on this stress release technique, watch my YouTube video on “60-Second Self Boost” here and share it with your network so everyone can enjoy the feeling of boosted energy!